What to say to an alcoholic who wants a drink?

Empathetic and Supportive:

• "I hear that you really want a drink right now. It sounds difficult." (Acknowledges their feeling without judgment)
• "I know this is hard. What's making you feel like you need a drink?" (Opens the door for them to share)
• "I'm here for you. Let's try to get through this moment together." (Offers support and companionship)
• "Remember how far you've come. You're strong." (Reminds them of their progress and inner strength)
• "Is there anything else that might help right now? A distraction, a snack, a call?" (Offers alternatives)

Gentle and Direct (use with caution and depending on your relationship):

• "I'm worried about you. I know drinking isn't the answer." (Expresses concern directly but lovingly)
• "You've been doing so well. Let's not let this moment take that away." (Highlights their positive efforts)
• "I know you want a drink, but I also know you want to be sober. Which desire is stronger right now?" (Encourages them to reflect on their goals)

Setting Boundaries (important for your own well-being):

• "I can't be around you if you're drinking." (If you need to protect yourself)
• "I want to support your sobriety, and that means I can't help you get a drink." (Clearly states your boundaries)

Important Considerations:

• Your safety: If the person becomes aggressive or you feel unsafe, prioritize your well-being and remove yourself from the situation.
• Their stage of recovery: Someone newly sober will need a different approach than someone with more time in recovery.
• Your relationship: Your closeness to the person will influence what feels appropriate to say.
• Avoid judgment and lecturing: This can make the person feel ashamed and less likely to open up.
• Don't enable: Offering them a drink or facilitating their drinking will not help them in the long run.
• Encourage professional help: Ultimately, overcoming alcoholism often requires professional support. Gently suggest resources like support groups (AA, SMART Recovery), therapists, or treatment centers when the time is right.

What NOT to say:

• "Just stop." (Oversimplifies a complex issue)
• "You have no willpower." (Judgmental and unhelpful)
• "Why can't you just control yourself?" (Shows a lack of understanding of addiction)
• "It's all in your head." (Dismisses their very real struggle)

The most effective approach is often a combination of empathy, support, and gentle encouragement towards their recovery goals. Remember, you can't force someone to stop drinking, but you can be a supportive presence and encourage them to seek professional help.